Bets and Bea's Excellent Adventure

Would you like to join me on an adventure? You would?! Fantastic! The first thing that you need to do is pack. Remember that you are bringing a 19 month old toddler with you, so throw in everything you can possibly imagine using during a full day outdoor excursion and then double it. Now, try to fit the enormous load that you have packed into a red backpack that you will be carrying around with you all day. Finished? Hot, Sweaty and Already Exhausted? Perfect. You're officially ready to go.

Now comes time to board the bus. Grab your red backpack, and your 24 pound baby and board the dirtiest, dustiest bus you have seen outside of Texas. Settle yourself into a seat and try for about 15 minutes to cram your backpack in an overhead compartment. Now mutter a few choice words (under your breath of course) and resign yourself to sitting in the seat with your baby and your big, enormous backpack. Get cozy. It's going to be a bumpy ride.

As the bus makes its way through rice paddies and small villages, marvel at all that God has created and giggle about the fact that Hello Kitty has reached even the most remote parts of the country. Play a bit with your baby. Feed him oranges and yogurt and consider yourself an amazing parent for not spilling all of the yogurt on yourself during the trip. After 2 1/2 hours of bumpy roads you've arrived. With a quick trip to the water closet (a fancy way of saying squat pot) you are ready for the next leg of the trip.

Gather the baby, and place him in the backpack that is weighed down with everything that you could possibly need for living in the wilderness for a decade and head to the river. Now for about 3 minutes gaze at the boat that you are about to be rowed in and call yourself names like Stupid, Crazy American and Horrible Mother with a Box of Rocks for Brains. With shaky legs board the rowboat and sit on a low wooden bench with your toddler between your legs and your mother next to you. As the boat is being rowed into the river, try to remember all the water safety courses that you took during swimming lessons and plead to your Creator that you never have to use them.

While on the boat ride, try for an hour to convince your toddler that leaning over to touch the water is not a good idea. As your boat heads further down the river begin to notice farmers working the land by hand and women in cone hats digging for water potatoes. The mountains around you are amazing and lush, with hues of green never seen in a box of crayolas. The weather is cloudy but there is no rain and you are so thankful because you forgot to pack any rain gear. It is breathtaking and glorious all at the same time.

Just as your son decides he has had enough of water, your boat reaches it's destination. Climb out and head through a number of small stalls filled with items that a Buddhist pilgrim might want to bring with you to offer to the gods in the pagodas. Incense, fruit and beads surround you as you start to make your way up to the Perfume Pagoda.

You climb a set a stairs, probably fifty or more and you begin to call yourself more names like Crazy Mother Who Over Packs and Lazy American Who Can't Climb a Set of Chairs Without Dying of a Heart Attack. At the top the path evens out. Offer up prayers of thanks to God and wonder if you are actually going to make it to the top. It is at this point that you hear amazing news. Two years ago a cable care system was installed (all the parts were brought over by row boat) and you can take a seven minute cable car ride up the mountains to the perfume pagoda. Shout Yessssssssssssssss and do a fist pump.

Now find your way to the cable car and hitch an amazing ride up the mountain. Take lots of pictures while your son bangs on the window of the cable car and grunts with excitement. At the top disembark and head out on another trail. Thankfully this trail is not very steep. Now descend a set of stairs carved into the mountain. At the bottom look around. It's a sight you've never seen before. A huge cave comes into view and inside the cave small altars of gold are set up. On the altars are enormous amounts of gifts and offerings that pilgrims have offered while making their journey to the Perfume Pagoda. Walk around a bit and think to yourself that the Perfume Pagoda isn't really a Pagoda. It's a cave. Now begin to wonder why it isn't called the Perfume Cave.

Though you have reached your destination, now remind yourself that you are only halfway through with the trip and begin to regret not drinking enough coffee for breakfast.

The trip back down is fine. By the time you are back on the bus, you are completely exhausted and very pleased with all you have accomplished with a 19 month old on your back.

Sleep well.

P.S. Your son was an excellent traveller. He feel asleep on the boatride home and was very good the entire bus ride.